Hello, all!

Just a quick note, for those of you who enjoyed 1 More Chance! the first time around:

First, thank you for taking the time to read it - any of it. I appreciate the support!

Second, I'm doing some revising of the text. Nothing major to the plot, just cleaning up a lot of the extraneous verbiage (of which there is quite a bit). How does this affect you? It doesn't, actually, since I'm updating only my stored version and the FF.Net one, for the time being. Once the whole thing is fixed - assuming that happens - I'll likely pull it together in an easier-to-read format, perhaps for ePub. Don't worry, you won't have to pay to read it, it will just be formatted for an e-reader.

Thanks for following, reading, and supporting me through all these ups and downs. I hope to bring you more stories in the future!

I'm doing National Novel Writing Month again this year. I hadn't been planning on it, but a few of my WordPress friends sounded so excited about it, I decided it might do me good to take a breather from the last pages of Fearless and instead try something else.

For 2012, I've written a 22-chapter (23 if you count the epilogue that may or may not stay) outline - so I know exactly where the thing is going - something I haven't done in a while. It's a strange experience to work from an outline again. I often put a lot of detail into my outlines (comes from doing research papers), so I feel like this story is mostly written already. The unfortunate side of that is that I'm not nearly as excited as I probably should be in order to hit my 50,000-word quota before the end of the month.

The project is called "Anywhere But Here" and I'm following the story of four teenagers trying to escape the fates determined for them by the Imperium (they're the bad guys). Along the way, they meet a variety of adults, all of whose motives are a little bit cloudy.

I'm doing multiple perspectives on this one, something else I haven't done in a long, long time. So far, I like the division of chapters for that purpose, though. Voice is one aspect of my writing I need to practice. Action is the other skill I need to work on, and this one will definitely have it.

If you're participating in NaNo 2012, drop me a line here, buddy me on the NaNo site, or stop in at my NaNo blog.

I figure about once a month is reasonable for these journals.... If you're interested in more regular updates about my writing, check out Even More Bonusparts at WordPress; that's where I spend most of my online time, these days.

Speaking of not being around, I've noticed a lot of folks who used to hang here at dA have moved over to Tumblr. I've got a Tumblr, as well, though I post there even less frequently than I do here. Tumblr - much like dA, of late - is more a place to glance and move on. It's more suited to visual art, I think, than storytelling. So, it's less of a match for someone like me, who's more interested in what I craft with words than with any of my colored pencils. Some people have managed to create dialogues over there, of course, but I never did get the hang of it. (Plus, some Tumblr folk I follow post so much...!)

What this comes down to is that I'm not certain what to do with this space, any more. I won't take down anything that's already here (because it's a chore to organize, if nothing else), but I'm not sure what's best for this outlet. I've even stopped submitting the 100-Word Challenges, which I do most every week, because it seems silly to go to the trouble of posting when nobody's reading.

So, what's appropriate for this place? Photographs and pinups? Finished art (assuming I do any more)? Anything and everything, as the mood strikes?

I freely admit it: I like the happy.

Many stories dwell on the conflicts that arise from anger, misery, and hate. Those can be very powerful stories, as they resonate with men and women who have felt those same emotions in their own lives. I enjoy those stories, too, at times. But I have to be honest. I prefer seeing the light, rather than dwelling in the dark.

Many of my stories deal with the darknesses of the human heart: jealousy, fear, vanity, hubris, and more. My protagonists suffer from them, in the way that I've suffered and seen people around me suffer from them. But, while that darkness brings a certain necessary drama to stories, I don't enjoy dwelling in those dim recesses.

What I love about writing stories - 1 More Chance!, the Songbirds series, and Fearless, in particular - is being able to show readers that the world isn't always a terrible and frightening place to live. Day to day, we face horrors and terrors...but we also overcome them, with the help and love of friends and family. I'm amazed (and a little saddened) when I see stories that are about only the darkness, only the fear and hatred and angst we encounter - frankly too much - in our regular daily lives.

I don't fit in, in this place. I'm denounced for writing characters who are happy, stories that see the good rather than let the evil swell and overcome. But when you see people you love turn gaunt and ghostlike in a hospital bed, or hear a mother screaming for her child, you don't want to spend your talent poking through those horrors. You want to give meaning to the losses; you want your characters to overcome their trials, and grow and be happy, even if you couldn't do.

That's why I like finding the happy when I put on my writer's or reader's glasses: I see enough of sorrow when I take them off and look around the regular world.

I'm going away from dA, to enjoy the sun and surf! (Or, more accurately, the surf and sun!)
I'll be back in two weeks.
In the meantime, be excellent to each other.

A few weeks ago, I entered a flash fiction contest over at Joey Francisco's blog, Soul and Sweet Tea. Now, my entry - "At the Top of the Tower" - didn't win. (I'm not ashamed to say that I was up against some pretty stiff - published! - competition.)

But that's not important.

The point is, my entry was chosen by one of the contest judges, Guy Bergstrom, creator and handler of the massively entertaining Red Pen of Doom blog, to critique on his own pages. Quoted my name and everything! And, even better, he said that he liked what I wrote!

I love the support I've received from friends here at dA, no doubt. This was super-exciting for me, though. This is a professional and accomplished writer, whose work I respect and admire greatly, who said that he enjoyed my little flash-fiction vignette.

You can read his critique (and edits) here: [link]. And, while you're at it, have a poke around at his site. It will be worth your while.

This week's 100 Word Challenge for Grown-Ups, sponsored by Julia's Place blog at the Wordpress, had a very interesting prompt. Per Julia:

As you know I like to be topical so I'm thinking Easter. However, I'm thinking a little outside the box! The prompt is quite simple but the trick this week is to prepare for NEXT week!
I want you to write a piece with
….'What was the rabbit late for,' wondered Alice…..
in it. You have 100 words making a total of 108. However, the last 10 words are going to be used to start a piece by someone else next week!!

This was a tricky one for me, and I came up with two versions. One is rather dark and lonely:

Doc says she can hear. So, he reads.

The book labeled "Grimm" is her favourite, but the German is gibberish to him. Instead, he chooses another story: about a little girl lost, trying to find her way home. That's the one he reads to her, in the hope that she'll hear him, and find her way home, too.

But hours turn to days among the tubes, pumps, and beeping monitors, and the time comes when the words on the page – 'What was the rabbit late for,' wondered Alice – dim, waver, and run.

The book falls, forgotten.

And he falls, too: down, down, into the lonely dark.

The other is very light, even fluffy:

Larry paraphrases; he's barely focused on the text. But Sally doesn't mind.

She knows he worries, that what he does isn't "enough." But she also knows his concern is unnecessary. His touch, his presence, his voice: that's what's important. And she tells him as much, when he pauses over the page:

"You're fine," she says.

After a moment, he continues. "'What was the rabbit late for, wondered Alice-'"

A jolt in her belly makes her gasp, softly.

Larry gasps, too. Then, he looks up, his blue eyes wide, astonished. Delighted. "You think... she heard...?"

Sally smiles, and nods. "All she needs is the sound of her daddy's voice."

The problem with these two pieces? I'm not certain which one I prefer!

It should come as no surprise to anyone who's read any of my larger works that I tend to swing between both sides, like a pendulum. Part of the reason for that is because I like to write about life and relationships, and those things are full of ups and downs. But I also enjoy stories that don't have just darkness and despair or only bright light and sparkles. My characters never have to plumb depths too deep, but they don't get to fly high above the clouds all of the time, either. And I think that's a good thing.

As for what you prefer, dear reader...well, I'll let you judge that for yourself.

I know I haven't been around much, lately. Certainly, my fandom work has come to a halt in recent weeks. Blame the novel project, I suppose, if you must blame something. (I care not. I'm loving writing the world of my calloused Casanova and his broken little mermaid.)

I did recently do another photo shoot with which I'm pretty pleased; I received the proofs earlier this week, and now need to narrow it down to my two or three favourites. In the meantime, I'll upload a couple of older ones, for those of you who enjoy classic pinups.

I'm also in the process of making 1 More Chance! available for download, for e-readers, in the coming weeks. Print is too much to ask, I think. Mostly because the story was not designed to be a novel but rather a serial, and thus it is huge. I would liken these downloads to tankoubon in Japan: a collection of chapters of a particular (manga) story, for more fluid reading. If you're interested in PDF versions (I think it would be grossly inappropriate - not to mention illegal - of me to "publish" them in a Kindle-native format or something like that), let me know. (Thanks to sweetie ~Tiffy961 for the original idea!)

Anyway, I hope everyone is doing well. I will hopefully be back in a more regular capacity someday soon. To those of you carrying on, I salute you!

The (first draft) teaser and first chapter for Fearless is up at FictionPress.com:
[link]
I've enabled anonymous reviews for this particular story, since not everyone out there probably has an account with FictionPress, and it would be great to get some feedback. (Thank you to ~Shade-the-Raven for the initial impetus, and to ~zero-damage for taking the time to do so, already!)

I'm not certain how many chapters I'll be posting (especially at that site), since the story is still in a draft phase. But since a few people expressed interest, I thought I would at least give them the chance.

I'm not expecting a lot of response, though. It's difficult to grab a reader with a 250-character summary for a story that is already over 110,000 words long (and my summaries are rather crap), and I've found that most people just plain aren't that interested in reading original work. Mine, at least. (I blame the werewolf-on-vampire pseudo-pr0n that I wrote in high school for turning my longtime friends off of my writing. Please don't ask me to share that drivel.)

Anyhow, the first chapter is available to read, if you have any interest. If it would be easier/preferable to see those submissions here, feel free to let me know. If I'm sharing it in one place, I can certainly share in others!

One of the things I enjoy most about writing (aside from the writing itself, of course, and seeing the finished product on the page) is the research. And - partly because it's something that I think I do well - visualizing how characters look is always a hugely fun part of my research. Clothes are a huge part of that.

I don't think that the reader needs to be informed on every little dangle of hair or change of clothes in every scene, but there are some moments when I think it can really help bring the reader into the world if I can let them "see" what someone looks like, and what feelings or impressions that look may evoke. A clumsy boy in a school uniform gives a very different impression from a young man in a well-tailored business suit; even if they're essentially the same character beneath the surface. And while a girl might not find that ordinary boy attractive...she might suddenly notice him when he's in that suit.

Naturally, my characters' tastes are a reflection of my own, since I'm writing them, but it's still a lot of fun to imagine different outfits for different occasions. Because even though we may find another person attractive (or not) because of who they are, we're still influenced by how they look (again, for better or worse).

I personally like to use clothing as a way to help set mood or perspective. When Ross helps fit Amber for a wetsuit, it's as much about him inviting her into his world as it is about him getting the opportunity to see her in something skintight. When Chie dresses in a formal wedding kimono at the duel between her lover and her father, she's not doing so simply to be pretty or feminine; she's telling her father that she's making a choice regarding the man in her life. And when Leon lounges around his apartment on New Year's Eve in an old AC/DC tee shirt and shorts, that's him shutting himself off from the world around him.

The choices we make when we create characters aren't random. Or at least, they shouldn't be. That's what I think. Everything a character does or says - or wears - is an extra little glimpse into who he or she is.

...Or maybe I just like looking at clothes. You can decide.

So, 1 More Chance! is winding down to the end. It's a bit sad for me; I've been plotting/writing/rewriting/editing that story for the last almost-three years of my life...! I learned a lot with Chie, Yousuke, Kuma, and the rest, though, and that made it so worthwhile to me. I also found other people out there a little bit like me, who enjoy some of the same things that I do, and it was fun to exchange new ideas and old infatuations with them.

In the adaptation of Peter S. Beagle's The Last Unicorn, the character Schmendrick (the magician) tells Molly Grue, "There are no happy endings. Because nothing ever ends." In some ways, that's true of all stories. Writers may drop a little "The End" at the bottom of the final page...but the characters keep going. Whether that be in others' stories...or in stories the writer keeps making up in his or her head. I've done so with characters I've written, certainly; Chie and Yousuke and their families and friends are no exception. Will I ever get around to writing any of those other stories, now? I don't rightly know.

Still - despite the sometimes-uphill battle against naysayers and 'ship-haters - it's been fun.

I'm off looking after a new pair of lovers, now, who are in many ways just as crazy and conflicted and full of joys and tears as Chie and Yousuke were. Certainly, they are more well-rounded characters because of the influence of 1 More Chance! on my life and writing. I hope to be able to share them with you someday (soon!), but until then, enjoy what's left of my not-so-little story of Inaba.

From my NaNo 'blog entry of November 28, 2011:

---


Not only did I finish Chapter 6 (and Arc I) at lunch today, but I also completed my NaNoWriMo goal of 50,000 words written in November!

It feels a little bit anti-climactic, since I know there is more of the story to write, but that will definitely not stop me from enjoying this feeling until I get the chance to write again.

---

Thanks to everyone for your patience and understanding while I've been away. I didn't mean to neglect the few of you who are reading 1 More Chance!, but I needed some time to concentrate on the novella. Rest assured, updates of 1MC! will be more regular from now on. Ross, Amber, and the rest still have a firm grasp on me, though, so I will continue to devote most of my new creative energies to them.

I'm not saying goodbye, but I - with the support of my family - have decided that I'll be going for a more professional goal of publishing (whether that is e-book self-publishing or farming this kiddo out to agents again) with this novella-turned-novel. This is the strongest I've felt about a project in a long, long time, and I want to see it through. I will likely end up sinking a truckload of money into this, for what is likely to be just my own personal satisfaction (because why would you buy a book by me?)...but I need to take a cue from my protagonists, and just be...
Fearless.

Just wanted to let my followers know that I'll be going on a brief hiatus during National Novel Writing Month.

I know that there are still some chapters to go in "1 More Chance!", and I have pretty pictures on which I must comment in my Inbox, but I just don't have the time to devote thoughtful feedback to them until after the hectic novel-writing project month of November is over.

I'm so sorry (in advance) for the delays in posting and response times, but this pseudo-contest is something that I haven't been able to do in a couple of years, and I know that I need to devote a lot of my concentration and energy to it in order to do well.

I'm sure everyone will get along just fine without me.

...and counting...!

There are now only ten days left for me to finish up my current writing projects, before NaNoWriMo hits and I devote my primary energies to the story of Finch and Baelin and the rest.

For those of you following 1 More Chance!, my huge Persona 4 story, I am currently putting the finishing touches on the final chapter. That last chapter likely won't appear on this site for another few months, while I make edits to the chapters between, but I do want to thank you for your interest and your attention (and thus your support). 1MC! is without a doubt the biggest, most complicated, most convoluted, most enjoyable, most personal story that I've ever written, and I'm so, so grateful that most of you have allowed me to write it the way that I wanted to write it, taking my time and putting as many damn words as I wanted to in there!

Whether it's writing or drawing or sculpting or singing or something I'm forgetting to mention, art is about what moves us and what makes us happy. Writing 1MC! the way that I wanted to write it - telling the story of love and lust and friendship and family that I wanted to tell - made me so happy for so long...! I hope that those of you who read it, or are reading it, or who may read it in the future, get a little bit of happiness from it, too.

It will be sad to leave Inaba behind, of course. But Harbram is just as lovely, in its way, with its own wonderful cast of characters, Ross and Amber and Sam not least among them. Thoughts of my sketchbook with character drawings and the multi-page documents with all of my research have been itching at my brain in recent weeks, and I'm so looking forward to telling a new story when 1 November rolls around.

I hope to be able to share more stories with all of you, here and elsewhere. Maybe you'll even enjoy them, too.

I remember when hearing that line made me excited. Now, it just makes me feel exhausted.

The new semester has been in full swing for several weeks, now, but it's just hit me over the last few days how much I have to do this year. Projects, assignments, presentations, new build-outs...! We're putting together a new live TV studio (don't ask), and while it's always fun to play with new gear, I have to keep asking, "Why? Why are we doing this? Do we really need it? There are at least a dozen better equipped studios not three miles away!"

In addition to the new studio, we've spec'ing a new data delivery system, overhauling our existing tech, and beta-testing the new national feed. Ugh. I just want to go back to my university days of laying cables and hanging lights.

On a happier note, though, I'm super-psyched-up about National Novel Writing Month this year. I've got the story mostly (loosely) plotted, drew up some character sketches (NSFW), and am working steadily on filling out the cast roster with the supporting characters, plus writing up background histories and doing little pre-story scenes, so I can get the voices and characterizations clear in my head. (It's not really that difficult, for this story: Al, Ross, and Amber are pretty clear-cut, at this point. But it's always helpful to look at the main protagonists from the perspectives of their families and friends. Plus, I am really enjoying Neville and Danny, Ross's counterbalance buddies.) Still don't have a title for this one, yet, but that will come with time.

1 More Chance! is almost finished, and that makes me a little bit sad. It's been almost three years of my life plotting and writing that one. I wish I could share it with more people...but the few people who do enjoy it have made the effort worth it.

My recent birthday (thank you to everyone for the well wishes and sweet presents! ) made me realize (again) that it's better for me to focus on the brighter aspects of my life: my family, my friends, the relatively relaxed life I lead. There's already a lot out there in the world to frustrate and depress people; I don't need to add to that with my petty problems.

I hope everyone out there reading this - whomever you are, and whenever you might do so - is having a good go of it, too. Some days are difficult, some days are sad; but some days, we're reminded of how lucky we are, and some (very special) days, we're told how much we're loved.

I love you guys. Keep your heads up out there!

Some of my writing is, without a doubt, rated M (Mature), and with good reason; these are stories with rather extensive profanity and explicit sexual situations. In those stories, the explicitness has a lot to do with the way the character thinks and sees the world around him or her. I enjoy the opportunity to explore that, and often it can be fun just to see how far I'm willing to push against the edges of my own comfort zones.

But I've also written stories where there is sex, but it's written in a way that I consider pretty tame. It's more explicit than waves crashing against the beach...though not much more. And it's for these stories that I sometimes wonder if the M rating is necessary. A lot of readers can be scared off by M-rated stories (and with good reason; so much of what's rated M out there - for sexual situations - is simply horrid, both in level of skill and realism, not to mention things like character motivation or plot), and I hate to think that I'm alienating some readers with that warning, especially if it's barely worthy of it. On the other hand, I've always thought it safer to err on the side of caution.

Anyone else have this problem?

Here in the US, Labor Day is upon us. This is the day that we celebrate, well, laborers - the people who work to provide, protect, serve, and service in the community. And, like a good little laborer, I'm working today. At the office, but also on my own "work."

I've been writing a lot, lately. 1 More Chance! is coming to a close, so that is taking up a lot of my concentration and effort, but I've also been spending time working on what I've been calling The Songbirds Series of stories, too. (These are my current passion-bordering-on-obsession. And I don't get much feedback for them, so I never really feel any neglect over them, which makes for a very relaxing and fulfilling writing experience. I write these stories mostly for myself, and for a few select people who understand and enjoy them, but there's no silly fretting over why there are so many hits but so little commentary.)

Speaking of 1MC!, the news of P4:The Golden and the Mayonaka Arena fighting game gives me mixed emotions. On the one hand, perhaps the new games will ignite (or, alternately, re-ignite) interest in my P4 stories. On the other, the games - especially P4:The Golden - have the potential to completely f'-up my entire story, if the new character addition(s) end up changing canon. There's just no way I can go back and change my stories, now. There's too much internal history and interrelationships I've created and built upon. So I've been thinking of just scrapping my sequel or further stories ideas for my P4 universe. Which is a shame, because I've really grown to love these characters and their lives. It would give me time to focus on other stories, of course...but there's so much more I wanted to do and explore.

:sigh:

Well, back to work!

I am really enjoying playing with my Prismacolor pencils. I feel like I've come a long way since I first picked them up, especially with smaller, finer details and shading (though I know I've got far to go, yet, too!). I had to go into the city the other day, and I walked into the art supply store, something that I haven't done in a long, long time. I picked up some replacement pencils, a few new colors, and a new kneaded rubber eraser (which I love! ). I also took a look at some other media, notably the markers and acrylics, just because I was curious.

I love these pencils, as I've said, though the blending of several colors really does a number on my paper! It's almost like using watercolors; the paper really warps and shifts a lot with so much coloring! I wonder what kind of paper marker or paint artists use, to prevent that...?

Anyway, I'd really like to get good enough to do some more drawings of my favorite fandoms. And maybe even someday be able to do some drawings for my stories! Not like comics, because sequential storytelling is something very different, but I think that some visual representations of a few of these scenes in my head would go great with my longer stories. (I think some of the quieter scenes - or even some of the more fun action ones - from 1 More Chance! in particular would be a blast...though I don't know if I could hold some of those stances long enough to figure out how to draw the poses! )

I hope that those of you who are still watching/following me are having fun looking at some of these pictures, too! I really like sharing my work here at dA, since (for the most part) I've had such nice and supportive experiences with the people here. I still consider writing to be what I do best, but I do appreciate how conscientious all of my followers and friends have been with these visual tangents.

That said, no more uploads for a few days, now. Editing the upcoming chapters (and finishing writing Chapter 64) of 1MC! are going back to the top of my creative priority list.

For my watchers:
Many apologies for the spamming to your Inbox over the last week. I was working hard to contribute a load of submissions to a fan group theme week, and I didn't want to miss out. The good news is that I wrote each of those new pieces ("Love Bento", "Lulling Lullaby", "The Unhidden Truth", as well as today's "1000 Words") in just a couple of days, the biggest spike I've had in my output in a long, long time. It also gave me the impetus to finish one short story ("Adaptation"), and edit a much older piece for posting ("Don't Rock the Plane: Claire"). The bad news, of course, is that it probably annoyed a bunch of you. Sorry about that.

Now that the theme week is over, I'll return to updates of once or twice a week. "1 More Chance!" will go on hiatus this week, so I'll upload Chapter 50 "Small Things" around August 7/8. For those of you who are still reading that story, it starts the push of the final subplot into motion, so it's actually a pretty good place to pick up again.

Thanks again for your patience while I've pounded out these submissions. I've had a blast writing like a fiend over the last seven days, and I even really enjoyed doing a bit of drawing again. So, I look forward to sharing more of that with you in the future!

...Just at a more reasonable pace, I promise.

It is no secret that my personal tastes (when it comes to writing, though drawing, too) lean toward the raunchy side. Anyone who has read my more recent work should realize that. And I've talked about this before (pardon me for beating the dead horse), but it comes up again and again, like...well, like a zombie version of aforementioned dead horse. And beating it several times in the head just won't make the darn thing stay down.

My Persona 4 stories - especially the big "1 More Chance!" story - deal very intimately with adult relationships, and a large part of adult relationships have to do with sex. That is not to say that two people cannot have a loving, nurturing, give-and-take relationship that has very little or even nothing at all to do with sex - they can! ...But that's not how most of my characters approach their affairs. For those reading "1 More Chance!" or its companion pieces (such as "1000 Words", or the more recent entries "Akuma-no-Hime" and "Love Bento"), my main protagonists are very sexual, very physical beings, who enjoy and even sometimes rely on sex to communicate to their partner what they can't say in words. This is how I've often viewed my own adult relationships. We talk with our bodies in very simple ways - nodding, shrugging, smiling, hugging - but we also talk with them in equally complex ways: kissing, fondling, and - yes! - even screwing.

It was during a recent writing sojourn into another fandom (Doctor Who, for those interested, though it's not particularly relevant to my point) that I realized that all of my (adult) characters express their affection physically and sexually. But I also realized that the issues that come with sex between characters like Chie and Yousuke are very different from the issues that come with sex between Leon and Claire, or Sally and Larry...or, hell, even my OCs Peter and Alanna! And I enjoy examining that.

Is the sex that I write pandering? I don't think so. But I'm the author, so I would say that.

Rather, I've found that I don't enjoy writing sex so much for the shock value, as I do to explore what's sometimes going on beneath the surface of two bodies slipping and seething over each other. ("1 More Chance!", for example, examines these issues in spades, and nearly every sexual interaction that the main protagonists have is fraught with subtext and subconscious agendas and deeper meaning for the individuals involved, than just "and then they fuck.") So, I've come up with a word that I think sums up my position - and what I hope to convey with my raunchier, dirtier stories - and that is:

smuff.

"Smuff" is a mix of smut and fluff. The smut part is obvious (I did say I get pretty saucy with my work)...but there is also an unarguable amount of fluff in what I write, too. The characters are never raping each other (because rape is not about sex, it's about power...and I don't think it's a healthy part of any loving, nurturing relationship). They might get enthusiastic about sex, but there's also a layer of tenderness that tends to crop up in nearly every sexual interaction through which I put them. That's no mistake. I might be a filthy-minded individual...but I'm also an incurable romantic.

So, you'll likely be seeing the "smuff" categorization popping up with more frequency for my posts, whether they're writing or drawing. If you mind, you can click away quickly. If you don't mind, I appreciate the support to write what I please and share with those interested.